Long time no type!

Hello fellow bloggers and readers. I have started my new semester with my Stats class and Philosophy of the Person class. I had to drop the philosopy class two weeks in because of some difficulties in the class. I am still learning my limitation with handling course work. Right now with having the baby, that class would have been too much to handle. I would rather take a "W" on my transcript oppose to a grade that would effect my 3.76 GPA.

I am still on path to completing my pre-reqs by time I need to apply in the OT program in November. I am happy about that. This summer I am taking a Women and Religion with Prof. Cato, and American Presidency with Father Issac. I love him. I had a Christin Tradition class with him and he explain to the class how he was previously a monk and how he loves his little Yorkie. It was soooo sweet. At the end of class he would pull up clips of the dog on You Tube. LOL. He is such a sweet guy.

In personal news, I have broken out in a horrible rash that all strated with getting poison ivy. It started about two weeks ago had has not stopped spreading since. It itches, I have been prescribed meds that are suppose to help, but the rash keeps growing. I think I am going to make an appointment with a dermatologist. The Dr. said he "believes" that the poison ivy has mutated and I need to see an allergist. Oh, I am going to see the allergist but I want to know what the dermatologist think because I still breastfeed and I am itching like crazy. I am keeping everything in mind to not take any allergy meds to help with the itching because it drys out breast milk. Soooooo scratch scratch scratch!

I hope all is doing well with everyone else. I have been keeping up with some other OT students blogs and they are so motivating for me. It makes me feel like I am already in the program. I really appreciate their time in keeping everyone updated because these blogs are so helpful.

You all take care, type to you soon!

O Why do I procratinate?

I now I said months ago that I was going to apply for scholarships, but guess what? Yep! I did not do it and now that I know my financial aid is low, boy do I wish I had applied. I know next school year I will have to apply everywhere, since the tuition for the OT program is more than double of what I am paying now. There are still a few scholarship opportunities open, so I am going to put my best foot forward and apply to those. My financial aid advisor made a good statement, " applying to scholarships is like a part-time job, whatever you put into it, is what you get out of it," which I completely agree with.

Oh, by the way I go back to work next week after being off for  six months. OMG NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!! Panic Attack. I am going to miss my baby girl. We have been going to daycare every morning since yesterday to ease MY anxiety. She did fairly well. She had tummy time while we where there today. She was just fine. I know she is going to be OK. I just need to bit the bullet and let my baby grow up. :-( I do not know if I want a one year old.  I know another six months away right? I just need to take it one day at a time.

Well the good news is that I ended this session with a 4.0 GPA. I am so thankful about that. One more session closer to applying to the OT program!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Best wishes to all of you!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

I think I read something that said I should try to blog every other day or so. I believe that I do not blog as often because I do not have anything exciting or interesting to say. Well today I do!!! I just discovered that I received an A on my Abnormal Psychology final. I have been stressing about this class because is has brought up many emotions within me that I do not like to face. I am sooooo THANKFUL that I passed the final. I am so excited, I just can hide it, I know I about to lose control and I like uh hu, I'm so excited (That's from an 80's song just to remind some of you). I am so thankful.

Now I have to come up with the money to pay for my books for the next school session. I have Philosophy of the Person and Statistics. I have been on maternity leave since November and I have not been paid for the last month, so we are short on funds. I am not sure how the mortgage will be paid. I have full confidence that everything will work out for the benefit of our family, eveything seems to always do in the end.

I had to cancel my Chem 106 class for this summer because of the lack in financial aid that I am getting for the 2012-2013 school year. That class would have been a day class and I am a night student. Day classes are more expensive than my night classes. So I just replaced that class with a night class. I just found out that I am close to the aggregate life time limit for undergraduate limit. I have emailed the finical aid advisor that the scholarship advisor a week ago about suggests to help over expensis I have gotten no response. I am probably going to call them tomorrow and find out what I can do about my finances for the coming school year. I think I have about $8k that I need to find somewhere. Again, hopefully everything will work out.

I am just so thankful for my journey. I am thankful for where I have been, where I am in life right now, where I am going in my life, and of course my amazing husband and my amazing kids. I am so thankful today!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah! I was able to register for my remaining pre-reqs for the OT program, which is all of my sciences. I take them this Fall. I will be able to apply to the program this Sept. for sure. Right now I am taking my Abnormal Psychology class and I have a 7-10 paper to write on Reactive Attachment Disorder that is due next Friday. I have been trying to spend more solo time with each of my kids because I can see their silent cries for attention. They are doing little things to hurt themselves, they are fighting each other, and getting emotionally upset in school and in sports. So I have came up with a plan to send at least 30 min with them one of them making sure to give extra cuddling; it's interesting how the behaviors are correcting themselves. My baby girl is growing, and I find myself holding her more and more. I guess because it's almost time for me to return to work. I love babies. Everything happens for a reason. I wonder if I would have noticed their acting out if I hadn't chosen Reactive Attachment Disorder for a research topic. I think it's interesting to say the least. I am really thankful.

I have been networking more on Linked in so that I will have some great resources and friends as I go through school. I must admit that I am super thankful that everyone is sooooo friendly and willing to help. 

Well that's my update for now, I hope all is well with everyone out there sending positive energy.

Fear and guilt

I was reading an student's OT blog about her program, she admitted that she is really burnt out, how fast paced and how busy her life is including that she does not feel that she has any "free time." Reading that post makes me nervous.

I think about my kids and my husband. Will school make me so busy that I will not be able to make it to my daughter's cheer competitions? Will I not be able to make it to my boys soccer games? Will my husband be stressed raising the kids practically by himself? With having a new baby, will I miss out on the first five years of bonding time?

Fear is starting to sit in about the choices that I am making and have made. That's one reason why I waiting so long to go back to school in the first place, because I did not want to miss out on my kids life. Then I thought if I had finished school back in 03' then I would be finished and would be able to spend time with my kids now. They are so young and they need me. What is a mother to do? It goes by so fast that I look up and my babies, the twins, are now 5  and are talking about how they are looking forward to being 10. I want to savor every moment I have with my baby girl Gem'maica (Jamaica), my 5 month old. My husband is soooooo supportive that he tells me that I am doing the right thing, but am I really? When I finish my program my oldest will be 14, the twins will be 10 and the baby will be 5. What I continue to think about is the questions of do they need me more now while their brains as forming and developing, or will they need me more when the brain's chemistry starts to change to hit puberty? Am I being selfish?

Please, for those that read this, give me input on what you think about this mind boggling situation about feeling "guilty" about going to school and the "fear" I have about not being there for my kiddos like I want.